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to the Craic Pack, another swift minded, silver tongued funster from the Emerald Isle. A man with the charm and comic timing of someone who's ...
Rants from the Hill: How many bars in your cell?
We're on the map, but barely. This liminal status has never bothered me, and since our move out to this big country I've missed almost nothing I've lost and have treasured nearly everything I've gained. When I'm asked why I've chosen to live "in the middle of nowhere," I'm reminded that, from my point of view, I have the privilege of living in the middle of everywhere.
One practical problem with being a virtual uninhabitant of the middle of everywhere is that it is an easy place to pull an Everett Ruess -- to go out for a stroll and simply vanish into the vast labyrinth of unnamed hills and canyons that extend west from here to California. For this reason my wife -- in acknowledgment of my charm, wit, and habit of bringing home a paycheck -- thought it best to ensure my safety by getting me a cell phone to carry out into the wilderness.
Because I average 1,200 miles of solo walking in these wild lands each year, she reckoned that at some point the odds could catch up with me, in which case I might want to just sit in the sage and call a relief helicopter to Medevac me back to the world of bourbon and baseball. When I protested my looming enphonement -- not because I'm a Luddite purist but rather because I'm incredibly stubborn and cheap--my wife mentioned my obligation to our young daughters, which rendered further resistance futile. Besides, I rationalized, a phone might be handy out there in case of a real emergency, like remembering that I failed to put a fresh box of Sierra Nevada Torpedo India Pale Ale into my beer fridge.
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